No Foolproof Way To Make Friends After 50

Can you believe it?  Almost 7 years ago I wrote a (perhaps overly) optimistic post about how people like me could connect with other potential friends in midlife.  I was one of the fortunate ones who had a great experience following the tips I developed. Many others were not so lucky. In the time since I first wrote the post “Five Foolproof Ways to Make Friends after 50” I’ve come to realize that friendship in midlife can be even more difficult to achieve than I imagined.  Let’s be real.  It takes so much more effort than when we were in college, starting out in careers, or meeting other women with children. I am so grateful to all who have shared their sometimes painful experiences in trying to re-establish friendships or at least social connections after relocations, loss of husbands/partners, or retirement. Life is full of difficult transitions, and you who have commented here are the brave ones–honest, searching, and experimenting with what comes next in weaving a new social fabric for your lives. I admire you all! Each of us is unique, and there are no foolproof ways to make friends and counter loneliness in midlife. But if we band together, I think we can find solutions  to support one another. So please keep on sharing your experiences. And please tell us what you have done to craft a socially meaningful and happy life no matter what your age or circumstances.   Blessings to all of you!

2 Responses to “No Foolproof Way To Make Friends After 50”

  1. Debbie 15. Feb, 2015 at 9:28 pm #

    I gave up 30 yrs of my life tring to make my marriage work do to my young,
    She could not understand I was so unhappy with her father. To this day she seems him as her
    Sperm doner. I didn’t want it that way.
    One day my meds were changed an i just got tiered of pleasing him all the time.
    He never would hold a job long enough to get us outta the debt. I worked
    Through pregnancy till it became life an threat. Long short I got us in our first house $54000 an all cost was only $525.00 a month 15 yrs later we for ght him to work. An I worked when I went through breastfeeding cancer, 6 months of cemo, then scare he gave me he c. Post poned reconstruction on breastfeeding to do a wkly shot to self for 6 months. When blood work showed no signs I was clear. I went through 4 surgery reconstruction. Then after healed I was render by work van giving me post tram attic close head injury. Went few more yrs lost loosing money pills an ex making me feel I was going crazy. Met new doc new meds really helped me alot so I lft my ex. 2 yrs. Know an so stirring crazy wanting a new life. I have no friends. Or soul mate would br nice.

  2. Kimberley 03. Oct, 2015 at 4:01 am #

    Hi Kathy,
    I’m new to your site and at age 52 After raising two daughters as a single mother. Divorced and now single for several years. I had a best friend from college for 14 years and one day discovered she was living off of my emotional pain. That I confided in her over the years. When I began to change and become stronger and happier. I soon saw her true colors.

    I’ve been very fortunate to have had good friendships, but for some unknown reason. They never lasted. Since my last friendship I ended for good. I have had a lot of aquaintances, where I work ,but no real friendship ever came out of them.

    I met someone 7 yrs ago, but he was’t emotionally ready for a committed relationship. There were others since then, but no one serious.
    I have some family, but not much except for my sweet little grandson who is now 10 yrs old. I read your friendship ideas about joining groups and I think that’s where I’m going to start. If you have any other suggestions I would really appreciate it. Thanks! 😀

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