For most of us in the U.S. it’s a welcome three day weekend. It’s the start of the summer. It’s time to fire up the grill and invite some friends over for barbecue. But for military families who’ve lost loved ones in Iraq and Afghanistan, or who are living without their deployed loved ones, Memorial Day is no picnic.
For families of the war dead, it’s a day when their memories may be even more heart-wrenching, when grief may feel even harder to bear. For families of deployed service members, there’s not much to celebrate. Their Memorial Day is more likely to be about a daddy who’s not there to grill the hotdogs, or a mommy who’s not there to go bike riding with her kids, or a husband who’s not there to snuggle up with his wife at the end of a long day.
Military families rarely complain about how oblivious most of us are to the sacrifices they make in service of our nation’s security. Maybe they should. In the meantime, I’m going to suggest that each of us takes some action on Memorial Day that reflects its true purpose of paying tribute to the U.S. men and women who died in military service and those who serve today.
What you do is up to you. But here are some possibilities:
- Observe the National Moment of Remembrance by joining other Americans in a minute of silence at 3:00 PM local time. If you are driving, turn on your lights.
- Visit a local memorial to your community’s war dead.
- Send a note of appreciation and condolence to someone you know who lost a loved one during military service —even if it was 50 years ago!
- Donate to Operation Healthy Reunions, which helps service members suffering from PTSD get prompt high-quality care when they return from combat.
- Do something thoughtful for the family of a deployed service member: Mow the lawn, watch the kids for a few hours, or drop off a meal.
Let’s join together to make Memorial Day really mean something. We will be better people for it, and the military families who do so much for us may feel a little less alone.
Barnes & Noble
Indie Bound
Penguin
Thank you for this reminder. Our President isn’t setting a very good example according to the news tonight. He is not attending any kind of ceremony to honor our soldiers or their families. How sad.
Beautiful Post! Thank you
Thank you Kathy!! I, for one, needed that reminder despite my genuine appreciation for the dedication of the military to preserving our freedoms.
When we were younger, I truly sensed the community tone of that day. As a child, I remember being sad and not quite understanding the full significance of the sacrifice or why we had those parades and picnics. Seemed like half the day was somber and the other half was a community party. That unlikely combination of emotions always stood out as different than any other national holiday to me the child.
Now I can see that those two distinct impressions mirror the military purpose – sacrifice as needed for freedoms that we all celebrate.
Anyway, I may not be marching in the parades any longer or participating in any consumption of hot dogs and hamburgers – but I will remember the purpose and those who provide for us!!
I choose to acknowledge and celebrate – thanks to your reminder
))
Love,
Dottie
Hi Dottie, you captured so well that combination of sadness and celebration that marked the observance of Memorial Day back when we were kids (so so long ago.) So much of the reverence for the day and the context of celebrating freedom seems to have evaporated. Today it may be a chance to kick back, cook out, or make a run to SuperTarget. I’m all for using the weekend to relax and have fun. Would just like to have more people do what you plan to do, taking a little pause to reflect on what it’s really all about, and how lucky most of us are to live where we do. Thanks so much for commenting!
Hi Patricia! Thanks for commenting! What I had heard was that the President was not going to Arlington this year, but instead was speaking at a Memorial Day Ceremony at the Abraham Lincoln National Cemetery in Illinois. Hopefully that will give some Midwestern veterans a chance to participate. Fingers crossed that report is true, because it’s hard to imagine any U.S. President blowing off observance of a national holiday.
Please stop by my blog again sometime? Best wishes, Kathy
Hi Erin, Thanks so much for your feedback. Hope you’ll stop by again!
Right on Kathy!
Several years ago on Memorial Day I watched “Band of Brothers” and was truly touched by the sacrifice these men had made. Recently I watched “The Pacific” series and had the same emotions. On this day we must take a step back and realize that people died to protect that which we often take for granted.
Freedom is not free, and we all owe a debt to those who have sacrificed and continue to sacrifice each day so the rest of us can enjoy our way of life. Anyone who has served in the military didn’t take the easy route in life that so many of the rest of us have.
I am disappointed that Obama is not going to Arlington. I wish he would take his Chicago vacation any other day.
Hey Billy, you’re so right about that debt we owe members of the military who make it easy for us to enjoy our way of life. Thanks for reading and responding to the post. Please pass it on. And hope you get some time off to enjoy the weekend!
I often think of the REAL meaning of Memorial, Labor, 4th of July and Veteran’s Days. So often the true meaning of these days gets lost in the three-day weekend or bank holiday or other festivities.
Sure we mention the true meaning, but that takes the back seat to other human endeavors. Is that because we’re afraid to look ourselves squarely in the eyes and realize that we might now have the fortitude to do for our country, to give for our country, to sacrifice for the good ol US of A, the way other generations did?
So, this Memorial Day give thanks not only for friends and neighbors and hot dogs on the barby, but the real thank yous go to the men and women of our armed services and parents, children, husbands and wives.
Anna, your passion for this subject rings out loud and clear. I am not proud to admit that I don’t think I could do for our country what my Dad did in WWII and what my son-in-law is doing right now. Did you have a family member who served or serves in the armed forces? I imagine you do. I wish you a peaceful day of fond memories and enjoying this beautiful way of life that others have helped to provide for us. I really appreciate your thoughts and hope you’ll visit again soon. Warm regards, Kathy
This Day is all about the veterans who have protected this unique country and have allowed us our freedom. Thank a soldier today and always.
Hi Michel, Thanks so much for leaving a comment that actually had something to do with the post! I’ve been slammed with spammers and will probably have to go to moderation mode. Meanwhile, good luck with your business
Kathy,
I have family members who served; Dad in deadly battles in the Pacific, an uncle who died over Belgium, my grandfather in WW!, a brother-in-law who lost the use of his legs in Vietnam. This well-decorated Vietnam vet has said he’d rejoin the Marines if they’d have him; his patriotism never ceases to amaze me.
I’ve often asked my husband if ‘our’ generation or the gen ‘x’ ers’ would have it in them to put out what the great generation did. Would we have what it takes when it comes time ‘to fish or cut bait?’
What a heritage of service your family has given you. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have the courage to do what they did. Brave men! Thanks for sharing their experiences, Annie!